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Uncle Ted

Being the youngest of four children, hand-me-downs were a fact of life – not that any of my siblings ever got a new bike either. Uncle Ted would scour the local tip for abandoned frames and wheels, take them back to his workshop and somehow fashion usable machines from piles of junk. His creations were invariably painted in the same disgusting shade of green paint liberated from his workplace, sported Sturmey Archer three-speed hubs and weighed more than dad’s Mini, but they did the job.
Until I joined a cycling club, that is. Then it became abundantly clear that Uncle Ted’s clunker would have to go and be replaced by something racier. Much parental badgering ensued – threats issued, tantrums thrown – until they relented and allowed the princely sum of £50 to be withdrawn from my savings. Cash in pocket, I headed for the nearest decent cycle emporium in the glittering metropolis that is Swindon.
A host of gleaming lightweights awaited, mostly too big or too costly for a 13-year-old, but the smattering of machines within my price range looked adequate. Falcons, Raleighs and Carltons vied for my attention. They were all distinct possibilities. But the moment I saw it, I knew it was the one.
The shade of Molteni orange paint used for its 19-inch frame is a colour that remains deep in my affections. Steel-rimmed 26-inch wheels didn’t so much spin as grind their way round, but Weinmann centre-pulls were a step up from the stopping capabilities of my old clunker. It had those curious ‘mudguards’ – lengths of dull silver metal extending a few inches either side of the brakes that deflected no road muck but rattled incessantly. Five gears, courtesy of French company Huret, seemed plenty to me.
But none of these things informed my choice. What counted – more than the wheels, more than the gears, more than those infernal chrome guards – was the picture on the headtube: a diamond-shaped sticker, framed by World Championship bands, containing a portrait of the greatest rider in the World, the impossibly handsome Eddy Merckx. The sticker repeated on the downtube for good measure.

It was hardly what you would describe as ‘lightweight’, but Eddy and me travelled far and wide on increasingly lengthy club runs, into the hills of Somerset or the Cotswolds, and we got on just fine. Youth Hostelling excursions into Wales or Dorset were a regular feature once proper mudguards, rack and saddle-bag were added. We tackled five-mile time trials every Wednesday evening, recording PB’s week after week. Come the winter, the gears were stripped off and a donated fixed wheel with 40 spokes and no chrome whatsoever (it appeared to have spent several years at the bottom of the River Avon) was fitted. Not once were we defeated by a climb, although one snowy descent at Easter saw us flying into the hedgerow at speed.
But Eddy was with me. We were fine.
My legs were growing ever longer and skinnier. The seat post had reached its limit before long. Me and Eddy would have to part company.
It was years later I discovered my bike was made under licence by Falcon Cycles in England and had no input whatsoever from the great Belgian, apart from his picture on the frame. Not that the news clouded my feelings about my first racing bike. Me and Eddy had something special.
Merckx: Half Man, Half Bike by William Fotheringham is published by Yellow Jersey.
Bespoked Bristol the handmade bike show, runs from Friday, March 23 to Sunday, March 25.
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Comments
Bruce Rychlik
23rd March 2012 12:06am
Great piece. The story took a turn I did not anticipate at the end - but it reinforces the fact that the rider makes the rider, not the bike, but a compelling bike certainly helps. Being the middle of four children (it counts when you are a twin like myself), I never owned a new bike until I was an adult and bought it with money I earned at that year's U.S. (golf) Open working food service. That Nishiki TriA (1986) is still with me (I think I only rode it only once between 1988 and my first year of riding in earnest 18 years later) but has since been converted, thanks to Harris Cyclery, to a fixed gear. In 2007, my second year "back on the bike", I bought a Cervelo R3, which has served me so well for five years, it is being repainted, hopefully to take me through another memorable five. However, one of my riding partners recently decided to go new. And he, like you so many years ago, went with Eddy. It was made "real" by the fact that the company was nice enough, upon my request, to send me his autographed picture, which I presented to the proud owner (who will hit 90,000 documented miles this week). We toasted it and the bike one night over Mayflower Porter and IPA. I think they'll have something special too.
James Fifield
23rd March 2012 12:39pm
A brilliant piece. Thanks very much for sharing.
I had a similar experience more recently: having worked on a construction site for four years and scraped together my savings from the shoe box in my wardrobe I was totally seduced by a Lemond. Having heard the name so frequently in the context of the TdeF. It was only later that I discovered it was a rebadged Trek.
It didn't matter though: I absolutely loved it and was extremely sorry to cheerio to it after five years of fun. I ended up selling it to a friend because I couldn't bear the thought "my" bike not being cared for.
Bruce Rychlik
23rd March 2012 02:18pm
Ian and James - to keep the thread going - the owner of the "new Eddy" referenced above gave me an old bike while mine is dis-assembled. It is, of course, a LeMond Zurich (2001). I will ride it (and have been) until my R3 emerges from the paint shop. Incidentally, I am riding the Tour of Battenkill preview this weekend - Greg will be at the actual event in a few weeks if you live in the northeast US (Cambridge, NY). If you want to talk to him, he will gladly take the time and have a lot to say. Cheers.
Jon Cannings
12th April 2012 06:13pm
the only bike brand worthy of having a champions name on. Merckx has been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.
Jon Cannings
12th April 2012 06:14pm
the only bike brand worthy of having a champions name on. Merckx has been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.